As creatives jealousy is nothing new to us. It is a feeling that we have, unfortunately, come to accept as part of our career path. Unlike left brain professionals, our jealous feelings show up in complex ways. Most people in business get jealous of someone's income, promotion, or title. Creatives are not always concerned with these things, we are more envious of someone else's creative process, education, or influence. I know for myself I am always jealous of other creatives vulnerability in their self expression. These coveted things are much harder to explain and pin-point yet they wreak havoc on our creative careers on a daily basis, if not more.
There are a few things to go over in regards to this idea of 'creative envy'. We first have to ask the question, what is wrong with being jealous or envious of other creatives? Some of us thrive with that type of negative motivation. One of my teachers, The Rav, use to say, "the punishment for jealousy, is jealousy". When we want something someone else has, whether it is their creative mind or their income, we have to realize that the feeling of jealousy is painful, its a feeling of lack. So what is wrong with feeling jealous or envious of other creatives? The pain is harmful to our own creative self and process.
Most people when they tell me they feel 'stuck' or 'unmotivated', its not usually a lack of inspiration or motivation that is missing. Usually these stuck and unmotivated moments come when we are actually overwhelmed with jealousy. We have social media that is available 24/7 for inspiration and motivation. Images and videos of people doing the things that we want to be doing. This should be inspiring but it's not always the case.
Why does jealousy cause this lack of motivation and this awful stuck feeling? Jealousy and envy are not wrong, bad, or evil. They are energy sources that we use to feed ourselves energy that doesn't belong to us. What do I mean by that? When we feel jealous of someone else we are stealing, plain and simple. But the joke is on us because like my teacher, The Rav, says "at least a thief get to keep what he steels" while a jealous person is left with nothing but jealousy. When we feel envious or jealous of someone who has the perfect career we are not just telling the universe to "give me what they have" we are also telling the universe to "give me all the pain and suffering they had to go through in order to earn it". We can have whatever we want in life but when we want to take what someone else has, we not only receive what they have but the chaos that came along with the process.
Sometimes we look at someone more popular, famous, or influential than us but we don't see the pain, suffering, and chaos they went through to earn everything they have. The reality is that if we could see it, we would never feel jealousy or envy again.
This information is all good and wonderful but it doesn't cure the curse of jealousy. Some of us suffer from these issues more than others but the havoc these energy forces bring into our lives can be counted in the hours, days, months, and years that we have wasted on them. This leads me to the next questions. How do we transform this 'negative' energy source into something positive? There is something called Righteous Jealousy. That's right, jealousy can be righteous! Who knew? I remember when I learned this concept years ago, it blew my mind and changed the way I saw other people who had what I wanted. I hope it does the same for you.
When we feel jealous of another person and we want what they have. We now know we are asking for all of their junk that came along with what they earned. We don't want that, what we want is the fulfillment we assume they have. Righteous Jealousy is when we say "wow, I want to be fulfilled in my career like that person and I'm going to do what it takes in my life to get to a place where I can experience that type of fulfillment". Realizing that we have this power and ability changes the way we see others and what they have. We have now turned jealousy into inspiration and motivation. The cure is in the curse. If we are honest with ourselves about where we feel jealousy in our lives we can start to transform it by changing our consciousness.
There is story The Rav used to share about a man who was set up in his life to be a great teacher, but he decided that he wanted to be a writer, like his brother, instead. His brother was passionate and motivated and he wanted that as well. So the obvious thing to do was to ditch his teaching career and become a writer. When this man died he stood in front of the creator with the hundreds of books he spent his life writing. He was proud and felt good about his life. The creator says to the man. "You wrote many beautiful books", the man smiled proudly, "but where are all of your students"?
Sometimes our jealousy derails our lives and puts us on a path that was never meant for us. I am not saying we shouldn't change our careers when we feel it's time. Some of us have created careers around what we saw someone else do successfully. We do not want to be like the man in the story and come up short when its all over. Remember to be gentle with yourself in the process of change. Where in your life can you apply the tool of Righteous Jealousy?
- Caeleb Bosscher